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| Professor Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "A C++ class considers another class its friend if it is allowed to view its private parts." |
| 2001 vintage. | (While explaining levels of protection in C++) |
| Professor Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "...and if that's important to you, then you need to get a life..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (While talking about programmers being fanatic about saving a few microseconds) |
| Professor Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "I don't do it the right way myself. But I try. Hard." |
| 2001 vintage. | (While talking about the proper way to program in C++) |
| Professor Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "This assignment is a little harder than I thought..... I'm giving you an extension of __ days." |
| 2001 vintage. | (After many of the assignments that I have gotten from him) |
| Professor Gabor | MATH 2060 |
| "... and then you understand. Or at least, you pretend to." |
| 2001 vintage. | (While telling us his teaching style.) |
| Professor Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "... and we will have fun together... " -general laughter- "You think I'm joking, don't you." |
| 2001 vintage. | (While talking about all of the fun that we would have in Algorithms.) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "I can't [give blood] because I'm Scottish. They're afraid that I have mad cow disease." |
| 2001 vintage. | (after telling us that we should all give blood.) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "... Do you understand? Yes? Good. That may be the last time you understand me all semester." |
| 2001 vintage. | (after explaining that there might be two sections for the course) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "Somewhere you in your misspent youth, you learned..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (while reminding us that we just accept some things, without proving them) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "Don't believe anything that Michael says..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (After hearing what Michael had said about an assignment question) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "You're Computer Science students! You shouldn't be away from your email for longer than it takes to go to the bathroom or sleep at night!" |
| 2001 vintage. | (after he learned how many people hadn't gotten his email.) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "Now people will spread more nasty stories about me..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (After talking about "Kathryn Ross" by mistake.) |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "4 divided by 2 equals 2. Usually." |
| 2001 vintage. | () |
| Keast | CSCI 3110 |
| "... and you don't want to see a grown man cry..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (while talking about what would have happened if he had made a certain mistake) |
| Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "In order to get access to another object's private parts, we declare them our friend." |
| 2001 vintage. | (enough said.) |
| Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "... and most programmers spend all day in an intimate relationship with their debuggers..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (while describing the debugging process.) |
| Sedgwick | CSCI 3132 |
| "And if you believe what I just said, I have a bridge to sell you..." |
| 2001 vintage. | (after telling us C++ allowed us to write an algorithm only once our whole lives.) |
| Professor Gabor | Stats 2060 |
| "The union of two sets always adds something. Except for when it doesn't." |
| 2001 vintage. | (displaying an excellent grasp of the obvious :) |
| Professor Gabor | Stats 2060 |
| "That's a good answer, because it is wrong," |
| 2001 vintage. | (don't ask me, I didn't say it.) |
| Professor Gabor | Stats 2060 |
| "I am in a position of certain knowledge, and you are not.... you are ignorant." |
| 2001 vintage. | (just because he has a PHd) |
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Quotes @ MikeSmit.com
Welcome to the MikeSmit.com quotes page. This is my collection of funny, ironic, corny, or otherwise amusing quotes.
Take a look around, check out the funny quote archives, and be sure to contribute your quotes.
History
I started a quotes page in the fall of 2001 to capture the quotes of my professors. Word spread quickly, and soon the original funny quotes page was receiving up to 100 unique hits each day.
Other people started capturing quotes and posting them on my page, and for a time, everyone in the Dalhousie Faculty of Computer Science was talking about the Quotes page. There were votes held and awards given for the best quotes, there were top 10 funny quotes lists, and it was good.
Sadly, those glory days couldn't last forever. After a time, the addition rate trailed off, and so did the visitors. By 2004, the page was visited only occasionally. This Mike Smit's Funny Quotes project is undertaken in the hopes of a revival of our love for quotes.
Disclaimer
These quotes are not intended to insult, demean, or otherwise attack any one. They are intended to capture and preserve great moments in the Dalhousie Faculty of Computer Science. I do my best to ensure that all quotes are accurate. Contact Mike Smit if you wish to have a quote removed.
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